Re-igniting passion

As you know, im a bit of a blood and guts freak.  Today I had an opportunity to be in the back pocket of a medic at a league game - and wow, talk about so very very cool.  Not so much the game - but the injury's these guys deal with.  Needless to say I might have to dust off my copy of Greys Anatomy and start learning about what is connected with what again - you know if you dont use it you loose it, and while my basic anatomy is probably  a bit above average, its all those small bits and pieces that connect to the big bits and pieces I need to dust up on!!!

So - today im happy, its a great feeling - thanks to Deb for making me realise I

 CAN do what I want to.

Count down is on to the big change,...stay tuned!!

no title - dont know what to say

I have all these feelings, and cant put them into words, because the words just dont make sense, and they dont even seem to fit.

Heres what I know, im not happy havent been for ages, what i am not happy with is not my life as such, just my situation, that will change soon - not soon enough.

Im close to breaking, all of this is taking its toll - I'm in need of some serious drugs, some serious rest, and some serious change, all of which will come in time, but maybe not soon enough.

Had it brought to my attention today, that you just cant trust anyone, I know this, but I trust too much, trust that people will do for me, what I wouldnt even think about doing for them. There is so much to change, and me trusting people is a big thing for me to go and change.

Arrgghhhhh i just dont bloody know anymore.