Friendship

This week I learnt something - but i didn't really just learn it I sorta just realised it - my lightbulb went on!

A good friend of mine uses this saying all the time " friends for reasons, and friends for seasons".

I have finally learnt what it really meant.

There has been only one person who I have decided not to continue being friends with - that was hard as that person supported me through some tough times, and I her - but this friend was clearly a friend for a season.

There are friends that just seem to arrive in your life deliver exactly what you need and for no real reason they drift away, those are the 'friends for reasons'.

But there is one type of friend that the saying doesn't cover - thats the "all purpose, all seasons," friend - and I learnt this week that I have one of those, in fact I actually have 2 of them.

On Tuesday, I went to a funeral, I sat in a room of people I didn't know, who had come to farewell someone I knew, but didn't know that well at all - in fact I hadn't seen or communicated with this person for well over 15 years. But then my all purpose friend walked in, her heart broken, her face showing the sadness of loosing her mum. She was strong and brave as she delivered her eulogy with tears pouring down her face, she battled on as she normally does. Then it was time for those final goodbyes - she, along with her family carried the casket out to bagpipes, waiata and a Haka - truly beautiful and very very emotional.

After a few moments I made my way through the crowd - she was talking to someone so I hung back - beside me was her husband - who looked down at me ( hes a tall fella) and gave me one of those farmer type hello nods, then, she looked up, we locked eyes and then she realised....it was me looking back at her.

For the past 3/4 of an hour I had been feeling her pain, her heartache and sorrow, now despite not having seen each other for 8 years, and last talking to each other 3 years ago, we were both witnessing each others elation, it was extremely overwhelming, all I could say to her as we hugged was " I am so sorry" and all she could say was " oh my god" we didn't talk much - it wasn't appropriate but we didn't need to either, we have always had a relationship where we 'just knew' what was going on, we knew when answering the phone that each other was the one calling, we knew when each other was in trouble - even when we lived in different towns, and we always knew just what to do to help each other out. We were matrons of honnors, we shared the fears of new motherhood and marriage. I hardly remember how people at work take their coffee or tea - but I could make her one just perfect after all this time.

The last 6 months I haven't been able to stop thinking about her - feeling a need there that I couldn't explain, thinking I was going crazy 'feeling' that she needed me, when we hadn't talked in so long and for all I knew she had plenty of support and no need for me in her life anymore- but all of that, the loosing contact ( I lost her details and then moved) and despair we both had looking for each other- helped make our reunion so much stronger, and helped us realise that our 24 year friendship, was still as strong as it was when we were best friends at intermediate.

Today - I feel whole again, because a big piece of my life has been missing, for such a long time. I also realise that my other all seasons heavy duty friend, the one that keeps using the saying "friends for reasons and friends for seasons" is that same type of friend - friends we have to hold close and cherish.