Sex, Drugs and Lies

Sounds like a movie title, but it sums up today's events. Arrghhh i don't know where to start, ok so lets start with the Sex.

I didn't think I would have to deal with matters regarding sex at work, have already had to deal with it before, but didn't think it would come up again, this time different person, different situation, same "deed"
I shudder to think about this actually...Ok - enough of that one, its already making my hair curl, on to the 2nd one, drugs.

They are such a waste of...well everything, they destroy so much, and I have found out that when it comes to drugs, you cant do much to change peoples behavior, they are what they are and they wont change until they are ready too, really the whole section on drugs comes back down to lies......read on.

Learn't a big lesson today, trust no one, yes Kerian has told me this for a long long time, that no matter how much you like a person, or how much you think you can trust someone, you will always be let down. Even House says the same thing " everybody lies" and hes always proven right on tv.

I'm more of the other kind of person, try to find the good in everything, despite being proven wrong (ie betrayed or lied to)  by a best friend, 2 business partners, a special person in my life, a trusted colleague and staff, all in the past 4 years, but today, I learnt some pretty big lessons, and one of them was I cant trust the people who say I can, and that if there are drugs in the equation, trust is something that just isn't in their vocab. Like my friend Barry used to say about my ex husband " I can talk to a drunk, but i cant talk to the drink" - I suppose this is true of Drugs as well

Lies - out of all the things that happened today, the lies were the hardest to deal with. I accept mistakes happen, what I have found so hard about today is that when faced with the question " did you....." I was looked straight in the eye, and told "no" when the answer was "yes" even when confronted with the truth this person still claimed that their first story was true, even tho it was completely impossible. That wasn't the end of it, someone I thought I could truly trust, and have placed plenty of trust in, was also a part of the lie, orchestrated it maybe, I don't know, I really don't want to know, but still had enough in them to collaborate and carry off this lie. Now this "act" has caused a rift in a relationship I treasure, I am torn between someones belief in a lie or halftruths, and the actual truth.

It also makes me feel like I project that I am dumb enough to fall for these lies - with the evidence in hand, I couldn't possibly believe them, as much as I wanted to, and as much as I thought I could.

I have learnt some really big lessons today, some really hard lessons, things I always knew, but didn't want to apply to me. I thought I could manage a team with total trust, today I learnt I was wrong, very very wrong on so many levels.

So what to do about it, well .....next year is going to bring about some pretty big changes, the first change tho has to happen with me, get the health right, get myself right, then put on my big girls undies and deal with the things that are wrong, and make them right - im not going to win any friends from it, but fuck em all - what favors have they done me?

Once again, my body is tired, my head is aching, my brain is racing, its going to be another long and sleepless night.

Inspiration, insomnia, diabetes and desperation

Ugh - all i can say is "ugh" totally inspired by a friend of mine to do some great things, even decided on a major event to celebrate my 40th Birthday ( which contrary to popular belief and the way i am feeling at the moment, wasnt a couple of weeks ago!) but unless i can get some sleep soon, i dont know whats going to happen.  Diabetes - well pig cells aside, it would be good to have some control and normality back in my life, I have been feeling so ill now with the change in meds for so long, each day is becomming a blur, i have little concentration and little tolerance, some of that could be because i am not getting enough sleep, but its also got a lot to do with being so worn down from the effects of my blood sugars being constantly high.

It will be nice to start to feel better, feel more energised and focused - how long it will be before i feel that again, - only the big guy upstairs knows.

Heres another article that was published about facing fears by Sarah.

http://xtremesport4u.wordpress.com/2008/11/14/the-art-of-conquering-fear/

Where did the time go

Man - time is flying realy fast.  Vertical Blue 09 has been confirmed, we are still paying off the cost of the last one! Christmas is nearly here, I think we will just hide away from all of that expense.  There doesnt seem to have been much time to come up for air in the past 6 months ( and its not just because of the freediving!) with work, health and other commitments sucking all of the available time.  Im starting to make more new years resolutions in anticipation of 2009 now - the last ones " do more for me" have worked out really well - next year might be an extension of that " everything you do, you do it for you" sounds good.   This year i have met a lot of very selfish people, who want all they can get from you, but arent willing to give, or they just cant see past their nose far enough to realise that there are more people in this world than themselves.  Its a shame really, the world would be such a nicer place if we could all just get along and help each other!

World famous on the net???

Well when it comes to Internet stuff, thats not unsual for me, but for freediving?????

Thanks to Sarah who published this on her blog about extreme sport - writing this article allowed me to revist myjourney - and put some goals in place - thats weird to think, me having freediving goals!

I hope you enjoy the article

http://xtremesport4u.wordpress.com/2008/10/23/read-how-kerian-hibbs-wife-overcame-her-fear-of-water-and-became-a-free-diver/

and a  wee followup:

http://xtremesport4u.wordpress.com/2008/10/24/free-diving-again/

Pushing the point

Im starting to loose my tollerance for the little things, mainly because i am feeling so sick, my BG's are high, constantly high, which isnt good, but hopefully when i see the specialist on Wednesday that will all be sorted. The big problem that has been in my life for the last period, is still there, I have given up, infact I  dont care anymore I just want it to go away, i am tired of feeling the way it made me feel, im tired of being angry, confused and hurt, and most of all I know its a hopeless situation. - so why waste energy on it.  Then there is the diving, well this is one thing that confuses me about my freediving, i can have a headache, the type that really hurts, but when i get in the water, it melts away, i can be really angry, really fuming, and i get in the water, and it melts away, i can be feeling sick, not right, but yet I can still swim.  The 25m's are getting really easy for me now, on the days when i dont train with the mono, i am using my bi-fins (stock standard snorkeling flippers) and just do fitness stuff, which usually consisit of a breathe-up, a sprint underwater for as long as i can, and then when i surface, freestyle to the end, have a minute breathe-up and do it again, i choose the stroke while i am underwater, sometimes i even do it on my back.  I am working on a few things at the moment, and i decide when i get in the water, what it will be, ie distance, technique, starts, turns, or endurance, but the one thing i need to work on what ever I am doing, is to learn to push it - to push out that fear just a little bit longer.  On Friday Kerian and I were at the pool, i decided that i was going to do a pyramid training session, ie start small, work up to a big distance and then go down small again.  What i did tho, rather than start at the end of the pool, was i started quarter of the way out, i would swim the few meters, to the end do a full length, turn and swim to where i felt i had to come up, then the next swim would be started at the same point i came up, so it was pushing me to add a few more meters to each swim.  what i ended up doing was some 30m plus dives, then a 42, then a 48, then a 52, a 56 and a 58 ( yay a new pb) today i was gunning for 50 plus a turn, more than once, I didnt quite manage that, but what i did amongst some 30m plus dives  was 5 x 50's, 3 of which i had contractions in, and 3 of which felt awfull all the way, but i stuck with them, I also had one dive which felt AMAZING.  I have set up a chart to record my distances on, so i can structure what i do each day to be a little more than the day before .

Like nana said, the big P is so important ( P stood for practice ) but for me a the moment P has more than that meaning, it also stands for persistance, perserverance and pushing that Point!

Honey, does my arse look fat in this?

Well for those of you who have been asking - here it is - my "50+m training dive video".  Kerian has been playing with some video editing software and put this video together of our session today. A couple of things I would like to say.

1) My arse looks big coz of the weights I have strapped around it.

2) Im a bit wobbly taking off....I still need to practice

3) The Tune is Dido's "Honestly OK" - I love the tune - but the words of the song ( of which you only hear the first 10 words ) fit my life perfectly in so many ways.

4) I need to be more flexible thru the hips - one of my goals, with more practice is to be more serpentine thru the water

5) Did I mention I have lost weight, but my arse looks big coz of the weights - ok, just wanted to make sure you knew that bit!!!

6) When I turn, I shouldnt come out of the water - again something to practice.

7) I am REALLY happy with this video - its not a perfect dive, but I reckin for me, its great, theres heaps for me to work on, but for someone who put a monofin on just over a month ago, and someone who wouldnt put their face in the water a year ago, and someone who only gave into their fear of water 6 months ago - I think I rock!

Ok - Here we go!:

So - there you have it!

Here is one Kerian took 3 weeks ago to compare the progress:

Have to say thanks to Kennaman for all his encouragement and love...oh and the help with the freediving! xx

Its all in the hips!

Ohhhhh - if you have seen the movie "Happy gilmore" you will giggle at the title, over the past few weeks I have strapped on a monofin and started learning how to use it, I have wanted to concentrate on getting the technique right.  Its actually very very hard to put the motion you see other athletes use, into practice, to try not to bend your knees, to bend in the middle and drive power from your hips while not "rocking" thru the water.  I have wanted to concentrate on the technique rather than distance to ensure i didnt learn any bad habits.

So today in the pool I said to Kerian ( who by the way did 150m after no training in recent weeks, surfaced and said " im back!!!" watch me, tell me what im doing wrong...and on my 2nd dive he said " that was perfect.....the turn was perfect, nothing wrong with it, your kicks looked very very good" - This comming from someone whom i thought would be my biggest critic in everything I do, but he didnt, he quite simply said it was perfect.  I was so excited!

So now, i will continue with the finer parts of the technique and work on distance.  I would like to be able to do 66m by time the November comp comes around - which will be 2 lengths of that pool ( we train in a 25m pool ) so im not sure what the difference will be to my swim.

Will post some before and after videos once they are ready :)

Somethings you just know.........

So when i saw this I just had to put it here - those who know me, will be sitting there saying " yip...slow down" - those who don't know me...well none of anything on these pages will make sense to you anyway!

Competition is t-4 days and counting - i'm really looking forward to seeing some world records totally demolished. I wish I could compete - however thats not possible, just means i have more time to train before i do enter a comp!

HEADLINE NEWS!!!

I am so excited, finally my swimming has been noticed and I have made headline news, the measures I had to go to were a bit extreme - but one of my life's goals, ie being able to swim good enough to get on telly - has finally come true.

check it out for yourself :HERE:

enjoy

A Picture is worth a thousand words

But there is only one word I can use at the moment, so I hope the above, gives you the message about how I feel right now, about life, how unfair it is, how doing the right thing can make things worse for yourself, about how bad things happen to nice people, and how people who arent nice in any way shape or form, can end up getting their way, despite not following the rules or playing nice. Those people - will never read this, mind you, that type of person, doesnt give a flying fuck about how they make other people feel either.!

The fear monster

Today I got my first "fright" in the water since I started feeling comfortable in the water, it was not a "boo" type of a fright, but a realisation type fright, where you have scenarios running through you head along the lines of " what if ...what if"

Heres what happened. I tried to swim with Kerians Neckweight ( 2kg) and Wendys weight belt (1.2kg) as I took off it felt good, but when the momentum of the first push off dissipated I felt a weird sinking feeling. The pool we are using at the moment is 1.6m deep, but 2/3rds of the way along, it drops to 3m. What went through my head was " if I run out of air, and I am too close to the bottom, and I cant get up, im in trouble". The reality is that I am not going to run out of air on one length of the pool, if I am at the bottom I will stop and try to head for the surface and if that happens, who ever is in the water is going to grab me. This is the problem with fears, they can be irrational. I have spent the last 3 months trying to rationalise my fear and put it in its place, I had all the answers to my fear, I visualsed being in the water and kept telling myself, "I cant sink when I am wearing a wetsuit, there are no sharks in the blue hole, theres nothing that can hurt me" etc etc, and when I did get little fears come up I dealt with them rationally. Today when I said " I didn't like it" I was thinking " I'm shit scared. I didn't have the answer to what the rationalisation was for this fear. I got rid of the neck weight and tried again, Kerian made me do another 5 x 25m swims after the first 2 "failed attempts" - he kept pushing me, and by the first couple I started to regain that comfort again. I am sitting here now thinking about how I felt and know i just have to keep trying. This whole water thing is starting to become my challenge, after feeling beaten over many things that have happened over the past few years, this is one thing i feel i can have total control over, and determine my own destiny with.

Fear Factor

Ok - so its starting to feel a bit false saying to people - "I had a fear of water" when Kerian talks about his freediving and they ask me if i do it, or if I have the bug. The truth is, I am getting the bug - and its heaps of fun.

Yeah I do still have a bit of a fear of the water, but I am sure to have an exit plan - ie i didnt dive from the shallow to the deep end, incase i needed to stand up quickly.

I am starting to feel ok floating in the pool without a wetsuit - getting used to the different type of buoyancy has been a bit to adjust to.

I can now swim 25m easily in the pool without starting to freak out - I manage it by saying in my head " arm up, and down, stay calm...arm up and down stay calm...and every 4th stroke i say stay calm and breath......" - that works well

So where to from here???
Well this week I have notched up an easy 25m freestyle, a semi stressed 50m freestyle, a 33m DYN and an 11m DNF - im just going to improve on those and see how much further I can go, how much fitter i can get, how much weight i can loose, and what type of progression i can make. I am tracking it for Kerian , so it cant be too hard to do it for me too!

Friendship

This week I learnt something - but i didn't really just learn it I sorta just realised it - my lightbulb went on!

A good friend of mine uses this saying all the time " friends for reasons, and friends for seasons".

I have finally learnt what it really meant.

There has been only one person who I have decided not to continue being friends with - that was hard as that person supported me through some tough times, and I her - but this friend was clearly a friend for a season.

There are friends that just seem to arrive in your life deliver exactly what you need and for no real reason they drift away, those are the 'friends for reasons'.

But there is one type of friend that the saying doesn't cover - thats the "all purpose, all seasons," friend - and I learnt this week that I have one of those, in fact I actually have 2 of them.

On Tuesday, I went to a funeral, I sat in a room of people I didn't know, who had come to farewell someone I knew, but didn't know that well at all - in fact I hadn't seen or communicated with this person for well over 15 years. But then my all purpose friend walked in, her heart broken, her face showing the sadness of loosing her mum. She was strong and brave as she delivered her eulogy with tears pouring down her face, she battled on as she normally does. Then it was time for those final goodbyes - she, along with her family carried the casket out to bagpipes, waiata and a Haka - truly beautiful and very very emotional.

After a few moments I made my way through the crowd - she was talking to someone so I hung back - beside me was her husband - who looked down at me ( hes a tall fella) and gave me one of those farmer type hello nods, then, she looked up, we locked eyes and then she realised....it was me looking back at her.

For the past 3/4 of an hour I had been feeling her pain, her heartache and sorrow, now despite not having seen each other for 8 years, and last talking to each other 3 years ago, we were both witnessing each others elation, it was extremely overwhelming, all I could say to her as we hugged was " I am so sorry" and all she could say was " oh my god" we didn't talk much - it wasn't appropriate but we didn't need to either, we have always had a relationship where we 'just knew' what was going on, we knew when answering the phone that each other was the one calling, we knew when each other was in trouble - even when we lived in different towns, and we always knew just what to do to help each other out. We were matrons of honnors, we shared the fears of new motherhood and marriage. I hardly remember how people at work take their coffee or tea - but I could make her one just perfect after all this time.

The last 6 months I haven't been able to stop thinking about her - feeling a need there that I couldn't explain, thinking I was going crazy 'feeling' that she needed me, when we hadn't talked in so long and for all I knew she had plenty of support and no need for me in her life anymore- but all of that, the loosing contact ( I lost her details and then moved) and despair we both had looking for each other- helped make our reunion so much stronger, and helped us realise that our 24 year friendship, was still as strong as it was when we were best friends at intermediate.

Today - I feel whole again, because a big piece of my life has been missing, for such a long time. I also realise that my other all seasons heavy duty friend, the one that keeps using the saying "friends for reasons and friends for seasons" is that same type of friend - friends we have to hold close and cherish.

Last day of Comp, last day on the island

Well its been a very eventfull day, Kerian made his last dive of the comp today, which turned out to be a personal best, making it to 71m - he was over the moon and so was I - it was great to see him work so hard and get such a great result.

William turned on his magic again today with a world record swim of 108m FIM - came up pretty clean, but very very happy.

Today I got put to the test, one of the divers blacked out underwater - which on any given day isnt that much of a deal as far as treatment, today however one of my worst nightmares came true, with the diver suffering a Pulmonary Odema and going into respiratory arrest. I made the call to take him ashore after about 10 seconds of him surfacing as he was not responsive to the normal "tap, talk and blow" which we do for blackouts to bring the diver around, and he was foaming from the mouth, clearly there was fluid being aspirated from his lungs - then the blood started to stain the white foam coming from his mouth - this is when I realised that we could be in trouble if we did not act quickly - very luckily the next competitor who was warming up on the platform, was a pulmonary specialist, so I called for his assistance, effectively halting his dive as well, but it was assistance that was greatly needed as the safety divers for this dive had never witnessed this type of incident before, and neither had I. The good part of the story is that after some time we brought him back around, and he was sent to the local medical clinic for further monitoring and treatment. He has made a full recovery which is fantastic.

To say goodbye to the hole, I got Kerian to hold a tag down the line, and I dove to get it, today I didn't go as far as I had been, my ears just wouldn't let me go that far but 5.9m with a tag felt pretty good, especially when I had people in the water like Kerian, Ryuzo, Tomoko and Natalia yahooing at the water for me, along with Nick and Fran on the platform.

So tomorrow we jump on the big plane and make the long pilgrimage back to NZ - back to the kids, and like the song says...back to reality, its been an amazing experience being here and being with these amazing people over the past two weeks.

See you all soon - and boys, keep your room clean and take care of nana!

Amazing Day - April 10

Today was an amazing amount of fun, excitement, adrenaline and commiseration all rolled into one.

Fran let me judge the dives today - while she took on the role of safety diver. Leo was first to go, and unfortunately he blacked out just 2m from the surface. This time because I was in the water, i was able to "manage" if that is the right word the initial treatment of Leo, I could grab his neck weight easily to relieve pressure on his trachea- which has caught us out so many times with various divers, and was able to assist the safety divers by giving clear instructions - rather than having to yell them from the platform.

Frank was attempting a national record, unfortunately he could not equalise - so only made it to 15m. Next up was Kathryn who was using Kerian's monofin to extend out her CWT record, which she did with ease, next up....was what was about to become my greatest honor. Will Trubridge with his staggering 86m CNF record attempt.

Will had set the world record at 84m just a few days ago, this being 2m deeper is quite a big deal, so off he goes, quietly i was starting to doubt myself, thinking of all the things that he had to do when he came up, and all the things i had to look for. Grant Graves was the other judge, and he was also the person who trained me, so i felt a bit of pressure as i was sure if there was something to pick up, he wouldn't tell me.

So we hear the guy calling the depths say that Will was on his way back, 50m....40m....30m....20m...."we see him" someone called, and then as I looked down I saw Will swimming strong....really strong, it was like he had just done a training dive and only gone a few meters, then he broke through the surface, a million things are running through my head, did I stop the watch in my left hand, did I start the one in my right hand, did he touch the rope, did anyone touch him, did his airway go back under, shit..is he ok, I looked up and wow, the look on his face, so fresh and so so happy, Will was fine. Then the million dollar moment, he produced the tag that he got from the bottom plate to prove to us that he got there, we had to wait 1m before we could show our cards, I held the stopwatch up for Grant to see, as the minute mark ticked over, Grant looked at me and said " are you alright with it" - this was my moment, did I miss anything, confidently I said " yes" and then Grant nodded and we showed our white cards, confirming that Will had just set a new CNF World record at 86m with much yahooing and screaming from everyone around us, and a gigantic arm pump from Will who was ecstatic.
Heres the video of this dive http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRB6h2E-uF8 - look for the scary lookign chick with blonde hair and a big mask on - thats me!

Next was "Big Dave Mullins" with his world record attempt of 113 CWT - this was to be a totally different experience, he made the bottom this is the deepest anyone has gone in competition, but started to loose himself around 50m - he pushed to hang on, and met Kerian at around 25m, still pushing, but he knew that he might not make it by himself, Kerian put his hand on his back to support him and helped push the big guy to the surface. When he broke through the surface he was out to it, but certainly not the worst blackout I have seen, and not the worst of the competition, however it was the worst one that Dave has experienced. The "rescue" went like clockwork, Kerian handed him off at the surface, surface safety and I supported him and brought him around without any problems. The big guy was disappointed but it was a good experience to be had, and as was said after the event - what we saw was not only Dave pushing his limits, but Dave pushing the limits of the human body - while it wasn't a world record, it was world history unfolding in front of us.

After the comp was over and everyone had settled down, one of the Safety Divers, Peter gave me some diving lessons and some swimming lessons, he was just the person to help me as he specialises in teaching diving to those who are afraid of the water, not that I think I am afraid of it any more, in fact I don't want to leave here - it is truly so nice, so peaceful and there is much to learn here.

There is only one day left of competition, I am judging the last day again, and we have 2 World Record attempts lined up - fingers crossed there are more white cards in the wings!

The photographic proof!

Today - I tried freediving again, and today it was easier i managed to EQ ( equalise) better, and felt more relaxed and less anxious about being so deep in the water. My first dive was to 4m, i couldn't get my ear to pop so came up rather than push it and give myself less dives.

Fran has shown me how to breathe up - so i am spending just a few minutes on the surface breathing like the pro's do!

My second dive was easy peasy - it was so easy, that when I got to the point where my ears wouldn't pop again, I was really disappointed and spent 7 seconds there trying to get it to go, I then turned upright and gave it another go as i've been told its easier to EQ upright, this time as I went to the surface I decided to let go of the rope - and just put my hands above my head and dolphin kicked - I arrived at the surface really ecstatic but really disappointed I couldn't go further, My dive time 32 seconds, my depth - 6.1m - Fran was screaming out at me " iIgot a great picture of that" and that picture is the one you see there on this page - and yes I am wearing a NZ flag shirt over my wet suit.

We went snorkeling later this afternoon to get some video footage of freediving, it was a great trip for me, we saw a barracuda, an electric stingray and I got to do some filming, which was pretty cool as I forgot completely about being in the water. At the end we literally body surfed in and got tossed around by the waves, I have to say that is one thing i have been afraid of, but it was awesome fun!

The comp has been pretty long, its hard to stay focused everyday, but its an amazing experience, and I will get some judging credit having judged a world and national record attempt, and quite possibly another couple of attempts as well.

So kids - only a few more days till we start to head home I bet you haven't missed us at all
!!!

See you in a few days

Kerian Sets the NZ record in Variable Weight

Today was the day he was waiting for, It was amazing and i was extremely proud to see him prepare and complete an amazing dive.

Kerian, you have achieved an amazing thing, and i hope you are as proud of you as we ( me and the kids) are of you in doing it.

Over the past few days, William Winram said to Kerian " sucks to be you mate, one of only a hand full of people who have swum over 200m in a swimming pool, and 3rd on the rankings list, and still you don't have a NZ record because the other world record holders are also kiwi's!" - its so true!

Kerian will do another attempt in the next few days along with continuing with his CWT dives

SHE DID IT!!!! - congrats Natalia

Today - I want to say a huge congrats to Natalia Avseenko- who achieved the womens world record in CNF today with an easy dive to 57m - the picture says it all, her happiness made many of us scream in excitement with her, and also cry with happiness too. Natalia, you are a beautiful person, your smile lights up the room, and this picture of you will light up the world - congrats - and may this amazing achievement help you move forward with your freediving with much confidence!!.

I am extremely privileged to meet you and also to witness your amazing dive.

HE DID IT...and oh by the way so did I!!

Ok guys and gals - the big news of the day is that "drumroll please" William Truebridge broken the current world record of Constant Weight No Fins taking the new record to 84m - wooohoooooo

Heres the article that NZ herald ran about it http://www.nzherald.co.nz/topic/story.cfm?c_id=33&objectid=10502321

And - for the other sensational news from the blue hole is that " even bigger drum roll please"....JoyC made a 6m dive - Whoop whoop - I was sooo bloody amazed, once I got my ears to equalise, i just went down and down, and then thought ok this is enuf, it must be 4m...and headed back to the surface - Kerian and Simon were there to great me, and they are saying "breathe joy breathe" and I was thinking oh come on it was just down there a little - how much did i do, and then Kerian burst into a big smile as he looked at the dive meter and said " Do you really want to know"when he said 5.9m you would have thought i just smashed Dave Mullins record the way i was screaming about punching the water etc.

Kerian had a rest day today, so along with Fran and Simon we decided to do some leisurely snorkeling in Turtle cove - needless to say we are buggered now, so its time for us to head off to bed and get some sleep - tomorrow we have 2 world record attempts to get through - fingers crossed for these wickedly cool athletes.

PS - ive updated more pics - so check out the latest ones!

3 meters!

So today - i try to dive, i realised today that I am one of the very few people in the world who will get to learn how to freedive in the blue hole.... so i am making the most of it!

Fran showed me how to breath properly for a dive yesterday, so today I used that technique, along with kerians tips on how to go down headfirst, as my "attempts" so far were all feet first.

So I breathed up, duck dived, equalized and off i went , this time to 3 meters, im still a long way away from Dave and his 108m ( that he did today in the blue hole) - but its great to know i can do that, and i want to go a little bit further too!!!

I had to visualise, something to relax me, so guess what i did, i imagined sitting at home at the table, watching Troy, Jordy and Kyle riding their bikes and skates around - I sorta felt like i was home - so thanks boys for helping me do my 3m dive!

Kerian nominated 66m CWT today but only made 60m - Will nominated 101m FIM - and made 90 - Dave nominated 108m CWT and achieved that, setting a new NZ record, along with Kathryn who did an easy 41m CNF and pushed out the NZ record as well - Go KIWIS!

8 more days of competition, to go, my suntan is great - although only on my feet and hands as thats all that pokes out from my wetsuit!!

Did you ever wonder where your rubbish goes?

The blue hole is so totally beautiful - its got georgous beaches, the water ( on a good day) is just amazingly clear and so warm, but imagine swimming in this condition - its a great thing to picture right....untill you get slapped i the face by a sole from a shoe, or a plastic bag...oh and the great bit, the toothbrush. Its so totally terrible and disgusting to see the amount of rubbish that not only washes up on the shore but is floating around in the blue hole.

For kiwis - its amazing that people around here ( who arent locals) just chuck stuff in the water - ewwee

3-2-1 Its competition time folks!

Well it is the first day of Competition at the blue hole and unfortunately there has been a storm brewing over the past 48 hours, we have had thunder and lightning, oh and lets not forget the torrential rain that hit us at 3.30pm on Sunday afternoon – this is the time we were measuring and stretching 130+m of rope, needless to say the 3 judges ( Grant Fran and I) were totally soaked by time we had finished with that rope. Because of the storm there is a lot of rubbish around and the visibility at the hole is not that great. William says that he has never seen conditions like this in the 3 years he has been at the Blue Hole.

Today was all about testing the safety procedures and counter ballast system ( this is what is used if the diver is late returning from their dive or there are obvious signs of trouble ) Kerian volunteered to be the crash Test Dummy for this, it was a double edge sword for him however as it meant he was able to attempt a depth of 70m to see how he felt, of course as he was going down with the plate, and being hoisted back up again, it meant that he physically didn't need to do any work. The test was successful, and for Kerian it meant he safely descended to 70m, which of course means he wants to go even deeper now because it felt so comfortable and easy.

Kerian, William and Dave are having a rest day today, and there are 4 athletes that are aiming for National records.

Fran and I have spent what little time we have between judging duties exploring the local shopping, there are only 6 shops in our local area ( ie 50k stretch of road), 2 of them grocery stores, one a bottle store, and 3 of them interesting nik nak shops, what is puzzling is that most stores, even the dive shop, have an unusual amount of Avon products on their counter tops – today we were at the local telco and the Avon lady turned up there with a big smile and lots of product. Despite the baron roads, the houses in ruin's, and the potholes ( some of them you could loose a whole car down i am sure!!) and the lack of development, tI am sure that here is more Avon per head here of population, than there is back home!

The Boat, The Boat!

Well imagine the delight after looking at the fresh ( week old) lettuces' that are at the local supermarket rotting in their bags, to find out that the boat has been and delivered more produce and groceries, by crikey were we in there fast to buy as many fresh fruits and vege's as we could, as we are all sick of eating pasta and canned fruit.

The amount of sugar the Americans put in their food is amazing, imagine looking at the nutrition labels on a pot of yogurt - serving size 140gm total sugars 47gm! - oh well it looks like by time i get back i will have lost a bit of weight - as the safest things to eat are just the fruit and vege's ( even bread tastes very sweet!)

Have been trying out being without the pump for 2-3 hours each morning - which has been a little trickey - today i think i got it right however - so that is a good step, the problem being that it is hot so us kiwi's are dehydrating pretty quick, add to that running blood sugars high and getting deyhdrated from that as well - it could be a bit of a disaster.

I went and visited the local medical clinic as part of the prep for the competition as Medic. It was a lot more advanced than i thought it would be, and the Dr there, was very re-assuring when he said ( imagine the following in an indian/island sytle accent ) " No one die on dis island...unless they want to. I call plane and plane take dem to other island where dey die, no one die here" this was his way of re-assuring me that if we do have any "incident" we are all in safe hands here. I was relieved to see an ambulance parked out the back, BUT then i realised that it hadnt been used in a while as the grass growing from underneath it was quite impressive.

Kerian did a great dive yesterday - reaching 60m - which is a personal best. Today, and he tried Variable Weight for the first time, which is the discipline that he wants to set the record in, and got to 50m. When he surfaced he was very happy, and saying that was wayyy too easy - tomorrow he will try for 70m.

Well im being kicked off the pc now - so Kerian can do his - stay tuned - theres only 2 days till the competition starts!

Down she goes.

Talk about being like a fish to water, that blue hole is something else – i jumped in boots and all, no worries at all and had a great time swimming around with bi-fins. I even swam back to shore ( all of 15m or so!!) with Kerians Monofin!

But the big achievement of the day was ....drumroll please...I gave the line a crack and got to 4m “free immersion” which is pulling yourself down on the rope, its really quite fun...and quite a bit of hard work as i am very floaty...so pulling down is hard...but coming up, you just let go and weeeeeeee.

I took a few underwater pics at the hole, but we dont have the download cable for that camera here, so they will have to wait till we get back

We are training with Natalia and Karol tomorrow – so it will be very cool to see these 2 ladies dive!..and i might have another go if the line is free for a few mins ( well all i need is about 30 seconds!!!

AARRRGGGHHHHHH Kerian theres an animal!!!

After spending 4 days in getting to the Bahamas - we are finally here at deadmans caye, haven't done much on day one however, drove around with Will who had to get his truck fixed on the other side of the island, and met some pretty amazing free divers, who's reputation comes before them ie William Winram, Ryuzo Shinomiya, Guillaume Nery, Natalia Avseenko, Karol Meyer, Christian Maldame – the list goes on but needless to say It will be great to see them perform over the coming weeks

Well I spent the night not sleeping because just before dinner we were told a delightful story about how someone found a tarantula by a mat.....and then this morning, after getting up and organising a few things, I grabbed a book off the dresser and saw something move. Then I yelled at Kerian who was in another room " Kerian...theres an animal" - ok so it was only a small skink, but I got a hell of a fright, and why oh why did that thing have to jump on my side of the bed???

We are off to the blue hole shortly, we are both pretty excited after all this is what we came here for. I have decided – before seeing the hole, Im going to give this freediving thing ago – my big goal to freedive “no fins” to 5m, I know its a huge goal, what will these superdivers who dive to 100+m think of that!!!!

Oh – by the way for those people who think the Bahamas are idealic and ohh soo romantic....the shopping is ghastly ( ie a box of cereal cost $8!) there is no “creature comforts” ie the hotel we are in doesnt get serviced while you stay, for a 4 person room – they supply 2 towels and you have to purchase your own toilet paper, soap, dish wash etc. The TV doesn't work, there is no cell phone coverage and the internet...well lets just say theres no watching of youtube here!!!!!

The Big Trip

Here we are in the USA ( well Bahamas actually) and boy - its not like i thought! The first thing that struck me is how big the cities are and flat the land is, it took about 35 mins to fly over LA to get to the airport - and the whole time all you could see was housing, buildings and it was all on flat land, not a hill in sight, it was strange to see - and in fact i still don't believe what i saw - its a very very different landscape from NZ. the other thing that is remarkably different is that the metropolitan areas are in grids - all plotted out nicely and tidily with big straight roads in the middle of them, not like our sprawling towns with roads going in all directions.

Our baggage got checked straight through from LA to Nassau - which in theory was great, however it would have been great to change out of our clothes in LA - instead we spent nearly 2 days in the same stuff - it was great to get a shower when we got to the hotel in Nassau!!!!

We are staying overnight at the Wyndham ( shot of the slide to the pool to the left)- which in itself is a small city, it has a casino in it and we went down there a short while ago to give this gambeling thing a go - we spent ( lost) a total of $9 - but were there for around an hour and a half - the other patrons looked at us funny when we said to each other " i just won 8 credits...or 10 credits...or even wow i just won 200 credits" 1 credit = 1 cent!

Tomorrow we head off to Deadmans Caye, and of course the blue hole - lets hope the weather is better than here ( blowing a gale like it does in wellington at the moment, and its not that hot really...well afterall i am wearing my jacket!)

Study study STUDY

What have I done?????...well i was looking at all my course details and i have, as usual over extended myself - i have 10 assignments due before i go away - this is probably par for the course when you take on 5 distance learning courses .....at the same time.

Ok - so heres what i am studying:
Sports Development and Training
Health Sciences
Forensic Science
NCEA Level 2 Biology ( old 6th form Bio)
NCEA Level 2 Maths with Stats ( old 6th from maths)

ARRRRGGGHhHhHhHhHhHhHhHhH!!!!!!!!!

Kerian and I worked through one of the maths exercises what a laugh that was, it took two, pretty intelligent adults a good hour to work through one of the exercises regarding probability distribution. ( and we all know any 6th former probably would have got it done in 10 mins!) but I was left with one question.......why? Why do we need to know that there is a 4/16 chance that if we toss a coin 4 times we will get 4 heads in a row, just take the risk, toss it, see what comes up ..isnt that what life is about...taking risks and dealing with what happens, rather than pre-empting your future???

Time to dig deep!

Well after a few blooming hectic months at work, I am starting to find time for me, which means I can record my "life's events" here - really its for no one else to see, its just so i can vent and share with myself whats going on to gain a little perspective.

The "BIG" thing at the moment is the free diving trip, I am quietly really really excited, theres lots of work to get on with, organising the trip for one, financing it, training, fund raising , which I seem to have taken on board to do, when really I am struggling to figure out when. Not only will it be a great opportunity for Kerian to learn from some of the world greats, but for me to learn from them as well, investigate new training techniques and systems, and of course try out those red, white and yellow cards!!!! Most of all, for the both of us, it will be us time, something we have very little of, and after a pretty horrible 3 years I think we deserve and need it.

So thats it, time to watch a movie now and reflect on reality and fiction at the same time, no doubt while eating chips and drinking Grolsh.